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(#52) The Proverbs of Solomon 12:4-How To Crown A Husband

Since God Created humans, only God can provide specific understanding of human behavior. God gave Solomon Divine Wisdom (1 Kings Chapters 3 and 10) to explain what and why behavior is as it is, and Proverbs 10:1-24:34 are randomly written, as if they were Solomon’s judgments about individual cases brought to him, or simply God-given explanations about life. New Testament passages may help see the continuation of Wisdom offered through Jesus Christ.

Proverbs 12:4: “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.”

“Excellent” shows this word means more than simply “virtuous, pure,” but also spirited, spiritual, conscientious, devoted to her husband and children, intelligent, ingenious. No clearer picture is drawn of such a woman than in Proverbs 31:10-31, which will be dealt with in detail in another study. When God made man, “the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him’” (Genesis 2:18). The entire created world cannot satisfy the loneliness a man was designed to have. To meet this innate need, God made woman, and Solomon describes her as a crowning addition to the man. There is no question to believers in God’s Word that: “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22). Men should be looking to find “a wife,” not “women” in general! Men who disrespect the marriage commitment are men who disrespect women, and thus disrespect God! A “wife” (not any and every woman!) is “favor (grace) from the LORD,” and a “good thing” for a husband! Men who reject marriage with a wife are rejecting the grace of God! It is no wonder, then, that “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4). It is sin to have physically intimate relationships outside of marriage, and God will hold all accountable who engage in the practice without the purity of a marriage. Forbidding marriage (celibacy) or ignoring marriage (playboy) are both observed and condemned by God. There is no substitute for “an excellent wife,” for she shows her husband is richly blessed by God more than any other inheritance a man could have. “Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the LORD” (Proverbs 19:14).

“Rottenness in his bones” describes an untreatable condition, for it has sunk so deep into a man, it may never be cured. Spiritually speaking, “envy is rottenness to the bones” (Proverbs 14:30), which means it takes away strength to faithfully stand. If a “good wife” is a “good thing,” then a “bad wife” is a “bad thing.” Young men should not on the prowl for animal gratification, but should be searching for “an excellent wife” with strength of character and spiritual conviction.

All Scriptures and comments are based upon the New King James Version, unless otherwise noted.

#adultery, #bible-study, #celibacy, #disrespect, #fornication, #husband, #love, #marriage, #marriage-commitment, #playboy, #practical-lessons, #proverbs, #rottenness, #sin, #wife, #women, #young-men

The Husband is Head

In the “spirit of this world” there is a challenge the Lord’s people have with regard to the Lord’s will concerning the family. In today’s environment, the husband is not the head of the house, but merely a co-authority alongside his wife. The male and female were created (and are still) equal in the Lord’s eyes (Genesis 1:26; 2:18), but with that declaration of the Lord’s, there is also the declaration concerning who the leader in the family is (1 Corinthians 11:3).

When the Lord brought the male and female together that He created, He brought two equals and made them into one whole (Genesis 2:23-24). Though both the male and female are equals, they were given different roles within the family structure. Paul made this plain in his writings to the church at Ephesus and to Timothy (also at Ephesus). To the church he wrote, the husband is the head of his wife like Christ is the head of the church. The very use of the word head in this context indicates authority. Lest we misunderstand what that authority entails, consider the remainder of the chapter (Ephesians 5:22-33).

The word head, indicating authority, is not dictatorial—not even close! It is authority based on love, and love always seeks that which is best for the other person. Christ is the savior of the body, and the husband is to seek to save (or protect) his wife from the outside harm that will surely come to her if he fails to make the right choices in leading his family (poor choices are made by both the male and female in any and all relationships). This is what love does.

The insecure (and spiritually weak) husband who demands that his wife must obey him, this is a man who is operating, not from love, but spiritual infirmity. What kind of spirit of a man will operate in such a way as this? Only one who is insecure and weak of spirit! Someone might object to this sentiment with, “Does not the Scripture say she must obey him in all things”? It does say this with regard to children (Colossians 3:20), but with regard to the wife it does not say this, and the wife is not a child!

In Titus 2:5, Paul exhorts the older women to teach the younger women to be obedient to their husbands (Titus 2:5). Given what we know of God’s love and Jesus’ example, what do you think is in mind? Dictatorial, of course! Hardly. What is in view is a godly disposition that seeks to honor God in one’s life (Titus 2:1-5). A wife who understands her God-ordained role contributes, mightily, to the strength of her family. The husband who understands his God-ordained role leads his family on the path already blazed by the Lord Jesus.

To wrap up this thought, let us reflect (and be reminded) on the work of love. Love seeks that which is best for the other person. With regard to salvation, Jesus sought our best interest (John 3:16; Luke 19:10). With regard to personal relations, man is to love God with all of his being (which means he honors God by obeying Him), and he is to love his neighbor as himself (which means he will seek that which is best for him—as he would himself).

Husbands, love your wives; if God brought you two together, then she is the best thing that has happened to you in personal relations. Wives, love your husbands; if God brought you two together, then not only is he the best thing that happened to you in personal relations, but his example and leadership is of such a quality that he will do you good all of your days. RT

#home, #husband, #leadership, #marriage, #roles, #wife

Husbands, which one is it?

All right you fellas with a ring on “that” finger, I have some questions for you.

Do you still remember what it was like when you were just dating your wife? Do you still remember what it was like to do random things for her that she didn’t expect?

What’s it like today compared to the past? Which one is it? Is it still those sweet nothings from time to time – or has it turned into nothing sweet?

“Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.” (Colossians 3:19, NKJV)

#husband, #marriage, #wife

Since Randal so graciously made an excep…

Since Randal so graciously made an exception for Laura and me :D, I do feel obligated to reply – again. 🙂 Here are a few of the many good qualities of my best friend, my husband: he is a spiritual leader, my encourager who gives me much more credit than I deserve, one in whom I can trust completely and talk to about anything and everything, and has a sense of humor that keeps me entertained.

#best-friend, #husband